Holy Moly…It’s Let’s Talk Month!
By Sydni Loney, Program Assistant
What is ‘Let’s Talk Month?’, you ask?
Let’s Talk Month is an annual educational campaign coordinated by Advocates For Youth (AFY), a national non-profit focused on helping adolescents make informed and healthy decisions about their sexual health. According to AFY, “Let's Talk Month is an opportunity for community agencies, religious institutions, businesses, schools, media, parent groups and health providers to plan programs and activities which encourage parent/child communication about sexuality.”
Each October, our efforts are channeled into helping folks find ways to begin these conversations. Pause, let’s say that again; conversations. A one-time talk is great, but all of the topics encompassed in sexuality can’t be discussed in a single sit-down. Plus, learning new information often takes repetition. AKA, talking OVER and OVER again about the same information. And while it may feel overwhelming or uncomfortable for both of you, research shows that young people prefer to learn this information from their parents/caregivers. Not the internet. Not MTV. Not their friends. YOU.
So when and where do you even begin?! Just like we encourage education to begin early in the schools, we encourage discussions to begin early at home as well. If you have a preschooler or elementary student:
Introduce the concept of bodily autonomy. Help them learn to take care of their own body rather than doing everything for them. Don’t force them to sit on Santa’s lap or hug a relative if they don’t want to; teach them that they control their body and what happens to it.
Introduce consent. Model asking before tickling or hugging, and stop when they say “stop!” even if they are giggling. Teach them to ask you before tickling or climbing all over you.
Use correct terms for anatomy. Don’t refer to their body parts as a “ding-dong” or “cookie”; this will teach them that their body parts are nothing to be ashamed of. It can also help them if they ever experience sexual violence, because they will know the correct way to describe what happened to them.
If you’re past the little years and have a middle-/high-schooler:
Ask about what they are learning in school. Many students begin receiving sex education of some kind in middle or high school, so ask them about what they are learning. Use open-ended questions, not questions they can mumble a “yes” or “no” to.
Don’t be afraid to bring up topics like birth control and STD testing. It may sound horrifying, but many students don’t receive reliable information about these thing from anywhere else. If you don’t know all the details yourself, look them up or find resources you can pass off to your teen.
Talk about relationships. If you notice that they or their friends have begun dating relationships, ask them questions about it. You can also use TV shows, movies, or song lyrics to begin these conversations. 1 in 3 teens will experience dating violence at some point. Help curb their risk but talking openly and freely about what’s healthy and what’s not.
Find the right time. Avoid scenarios that might feel confrontational. Any anything with constant direct eye-contact might be a bit much for both of you. Instead, use the drive to an extracurricular or sitting on the couch during a movie to bring up these topics. The more comfortable you can make it, the more your teen will open up.
Learn when to let it go. Teens can be moody, and sometimes they simply won’t be receptive to the conversation. As long as they aren’t in any danger, sometimes it’s best to just let things go for the moment. Make sure they have resources available for if/when they are ready to talk.
You can learn more about Let’s Talk Month and find additional resources at here.